Tag Archives: green tea extract

Pain, Such Pain

Today didn’t start off bad but you know those days you think will go normal but quickly take a downward turn and boom! Food craziness! sigh.

I woke up with a headache, I almost didn’t get up and go out but decided the headache would be with me whether I got up or not so I might as well get up. I had to fill a prescription and the wait time was 2 hours. I wandered the store for a while, it was Costco, but had to leave because I kept thinking about their french fries. By this time I had eaten a protein bar so really, I shouldn’t have needed any food, but Costco french fries make me weak. *rolls eyes*

By the time I was leaving there and going home I felt…weird…I don’t know how else to explain it. I was hungry but not hungry…I had abdominal pain that I couldn’t explain…I wanted to eat but didn’t want any of my safe foods…I wanted to exercise but I was exhausted…oh, and I still had the headache.

All the way home I kept thinking of places I would stop to get food, not just any food but binge food. I have no idea why I was semi-planning a binge. I managed to get home without buying any food but had no idea what to make when I got home. I ended up making a box of macaroni and cheese and inhaled the entire thing. Ugh. Then I had ice cream. Then I had more abdominal pain, still had a headache, I swear my energy levels were even lower, and I still kinda wanted to eat. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to eat…

I was supposed to go to practice tonight but I didn’t. I could barely move from my living room chair to the bathroom let alone get ready and take part in 2 hours of intense activity. I promised myself I would go for a run instead, to make it up to myself, but I didn’t. I ended up falling asleep on the living room chair. I have to admit, it was a good nap.

Problem is, I woke up from the nap sooooooo hungry! Like, stomach growling hungry! Wtf?? I had eaten so much before I fell asleep and now my body wants more? Plus! Still having all kinds of abdominal pains. Ugh, the pain is becoming an issue but I don’t know why I have it.

It is an achy, persistent, throughout my entire lower abdominal pain, that I don’t know how to get rid of. 😦

Maybe it is from the cayenne pepper and green tea extracts I took yesterday in an effort to purge the food I ate? Which, fyi, didn’t work. It usually makes everything in my system rev up and it flushes out what I ate (I’m trying to not be too graphic or gross lol) but it didn’t do that…not sure if that means it has stopped working for me and I need to find something else or just increase how much I take?

So now I am more awake than I should be considering I need to go to bed soon, I still have abdominal pain, I still want to eat the other tub of ice cream, and I don’t know what to do. Despite being more awake my energy levels are still low, I think that is because every time I get up the pain becomes even more noticeable, it is making it hard to stand straight…should be an interesting shower…

corset

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Not A Great Day

The title says it all. Today is not a great day. I woke up in a blah mood, not really wanting to face the world but having things I had to do so out I went. I really should have never left the apartment, ugh. I am easily irritated today, have no patience, am near tears, and just want to hide from everyone and everything.

At the same time part of me just doesn’t care. I was driving earlier, saw a car coming, turned anyways, cut them off, they were blowing their horn at me, it was a dumb ass move that could have caused an accident and yet…I just don’t care. I didn’t care when I did it, I don’t care now, I am numb.

I had a work lunch, they served Malaysian food, I took a random assortment of things, mostly things in sauces that spread out a lot so my plate looked like it had more food on it than it really did. I also purposefully took a serving of the pork dish, pretending I didn’t realize it was pork, so when I sat down and “discovered” the pork I could be all shocked and dismayed and nobody blinked at me not eating that part of my food – they all know I don’t eat pork. Yay for being good at deceiving people I guess…

I went to a drop in meeting last Monday for people with ED. I have been on a waiting list for 4 months to get some sort of help, frankly I kinda thought they forgot about me, so I was plugging along, doing my own thing, losing weight and doing ok when out of nowhere they called. I had an info session type of thing, learned the rules etc, and then had my first group meeting. I start actual classes or something in January but until then I am required to attend minimum 2 drop in sessions per month. There are 3 different types of drop in session and I can pick any combo of the three types I want.

The one I went to is a Weekly Support Group. The other two are a Weekly Relaxation / Meditation Group and a Weekly Meal Support Group.

The Weekly Support Group was ok I guess. A bunch of people with various eating disorders sitting around talking about all kinds of things with a shrink and a dietitian sitting with us for mediation / information / feedback. It was weird to hear other people talking about behaviours that I do, or about having the same thoughts that I think. It isn’t like I thought I was the only person who had these thoughts or behaviours or issues but I’ve never talked openly to anyone about them and never heard other people talking openly about what they do.

Since that meeting though, my restrictive eating has increased. I had gotten to what I thought of as a decent balance of food, not too much food, not too little food, for me. This past week though it seems like there is no end to situations that occur that end with me eating something I shouldn’t, and all the restricting I have been doing has not been enough compensation, resulting in my having gained weight this week. 😦

I knew I had gained weight, I could feel that I had, and I am freakin miserable about it. Seeing that number on the scale go up makes me want to cry, or punch something, or not care when I drive, or binge, or purge, or restrict more, or engage in any number of not good for me activities.

So ever since weigh-in today I’ve been struggling. Before weigh-in I was just in a bad mood, since weigh-in I am in a destructive mood. On my way home part of me was all “might as well drive to a bakery and get allllll the food!” while another part of me was all “no food! for minimum 24 hours! must fix this!”

I don’t know which part to listen to, eat everything, eat nothing…I just don’t know.

I compromised, when I got home I took a Cayenne Pepper extract and a Green Tea extract. You are supposed to take them when eating a meal but it was pretty soon after my work lunch so I hoped it would still count. The combo is supposed to help you metabolize your food faster. I decided that if it seemed like they had worked, and if later in the day I feel hungry, I would allow myself some vegetables. If they didn’t seem to work then I would just drink lots of water, tea, and diet coke and wait to eat until sometime tomorrow afternoon.

I’m so mad at going up 1.8lbs in weight when I’ve been working so hard and as of last week had lost 18lbs. Now I feel like I have to start all over.

sad

Cayenne Pepper and Green Tea

A trainer at the gym I go to is chatty, she isn’t my personal trainer (because I can’t afford a personal trainer) but if I get a protein shake before I leave or stop by the desk on the way out we usually end up talking.

During one of these talks she said something she does, and recommends, is taking cayenne pepper pills in combination with green tea extract pills (or you can drink the green tea, she takes the pills cause she doesn’t like green tea lol).

She is super skinny so obviously I am gonna take any advice she gives me.

It took me a while to find the cayenne pepper pills, I could find them online but was having trouble finding them in a store and I’d much rather buy them in a store than online. It’s not that I don’t trust online shopping, I just don’t want to wait for them to be shipped to me, I’m impatient lol

I was in Superstore the other day and found an aisle I’d never seen before, filled with all kinds of supplements etc and there they were, bottles of cayenne pepper extract pills, score! Oh, and right beside them? The green tea extract pills. Like it was meant to be! 😉

Capsaicin is the active ingredient in cayenne pepper and depending on which article you read on the internet, can aid in weight loss. Combining it with green tea, according to the trainer and random internet sources, will give it a boost.

By now everyone has heard that green tea, either the pills or the actual drink, aid in weight loss, hell, I know people who have green tea in their water bottles when they are working out instead of water lol This cayenne pepper thing is new, to me anyways.

I was warned that you must must must take the pills when eating, as in, eat half your meal, pop the pills, eat the other half of your meal. If you have nothing in your stomach, or not enough in your stomach, when you take the cayenne pepper pill you will feel like your stomach is on fire and be in such misery you’ll never want to take one of the pills again.

I decided to wait and take my first cayenne pepper pill on a day I didn’t work, that way if I had a bad response to it I wouldn’t feel like crap while at work.

Today was that day!

I kinda forgot about it, sigh, so I took the pills (one cayenne pepper pill, one green tea extract pill) after I ate, then I drank a big glass of water juuuuuust in case.

An unknown amount of time after I popped the pills (I wish I’d timed how long it took…) I all of a sudden had a horrible sensation in my stomach, kind of a fiery nauseating pain…not as strong as it would be if I had no food in my stomach (I’m guessing) but strong enough I felt kinda miserable.

I wasn’t sure what to do. I felt as if I could throw up quiet easily, but wanted to avoid that if possible, so I sat, in misery, and tried to distract myself with tv. Maybe ten minutes or so after it started it stopped.

No more nausea. No more fire. No more pain. Just a normal stomach again.

I’m counting this as a success and will keep on taking the pills. I figure, if I only take them when I am eating at home (which is the majority of my meals), and if I make sure I don’t eat right before I have to leave but instead give myself time, well, I should be fine.

Fine, and possibly thinner! *crosses fingers*

tall n skinny