I have been all over the place lately with my food…some days eating an entire order of bread sticks and half a pizza, other days eating 1/2C of oatmeal and calling it a day. I can’t get a handle on it and frankly, trying to figure out how to get a handle on it is exhausting.
The other day I realized I had spent 8 hours thinking about food. It was Oscar Sunday and I usually let myself have something as a treat for my dinner when watching the Oscars. So while at work I kept thinking about what I was going to eat, I was jumping all over the place with ideas: pizza, sushi, ice cream, home made burger with fries, egg on toast…and more. I couldn’t decide because every item sounded delicious and as soon as I thought about it I wanted it.
I eventually decided on pizza, specifically half a frozen pizza I had in my freezer, because I could track the nutritional information, it would be a treat, and it would then be out of my freezer.
Well, something went drastically wrong when cooking it and it became inedible. Not like, a tiny bit burned or something, I mean totally not a thing that can be eaten any longer and I had to throw it out.
No way in hell was I going to take time away from watching the Oscars to cook something and I now had pizza on the brain so I ordered in from Pizza Hut.
Why do I do that?? sigh.
One 9″ pepperoni pizza and an order of bread sticks. Really all I wanted were the bread sticks and a dessert from there but I was trying to show some level of restraint…as if pizza is ever showing restraint? *rolls eyes*
I ate half the pizza and alllll of the bread sticks. My god I love carbs, Mmm! Weirdly, they weren’t even that good, I just couldn’t stop once I started.
Then I was in crazy levels of pain…I’m having some gastrointestinal issues and eating in large quantities makes the pain from those issues flare up. Not cool.
The only up side I can see is it makes my ice cream experience from two weeks ago seem… wait, I was going to say “not so bad” but it was bad, it was a whole new low that mortifies me. I had a tub of ice cream and I made a rule I was only allowed to eat it when standing up. The actual ice cream was mediocre but the peanut butter and chocolate cups that were in the ice cream were super delicious so I stood at the sink and dug out the peanut butter and chocolate cups, letting the ice cream go down the drain.
Who does that??
So yeah, all over the place food wise…don’t even get me started on the mini cream puffs from last week at work…
I learned yesterday ED recovery takes 3 to 7 years…I’m in week 7…that is just depressing…