My Thinking

Have you ever thought about how messed up your thinking about a certain topic might be?

I eat somewhere in the 700-ish calorie range daily, unless I have a binge. Today I excelled and ate 463 calories, not my personal best but it could be a hell of a lot worse. 😛

To me, eating anything over 800 calories in a day is practically catastrophic.

I had floating in my brain from who knows where that an adult female is supposed to eat around 1200 calories a day. The other night I was watching more YouTube food videos and I saw this one by a lady I watch frequently. She has a fitness channel on YouTube and her videos focus on healthy eating and exercise. I like her accent lol

So she put up this video about food prepping like a bikini model, and she doesn’t mean a Victoria Secret bikini model, she means like bodybuilder bikini model. Here is the video…

In this video the meal plan would have a person eating 1200 calories a day which matches the random info I had in my head about what the so-called experts say you should be eating but is such a huge number I can’t imagine eating that much food everyday without becoming adept at purging super fast.

Well, while I was listening to her talk about the meals I scrolled down to the comments section and oh wow people are freakin mean! So many people blasting her for supporting an unhealthy eating plan, for being a negative influence on susceptible people, on promoting under eating. Like, what the hell? She has a massive disclaimer that she says at the beginning of the video about how eating only 1200 calories a day isn’t a sustainable eating plan, how bodybuilders only eat like this for the final count down to a competition, how following this plan is basically slowly starving yourself. She is in no way promoting eating disorder behaviour, she is saying point blank this isn’t the healthiest meal plan but this is what this sub-group of people do and if you want to know how they prep for a competition here is a meal plan that mimics what they do.

She also says stuff about how under eating for a long time can mess up your metabolism, cause you medical problems and a bunch of other scary sounding things.

So ok, I have heard people say how under eating is unhealthy often, you can’t go online and look up anything having to do with eating and not come across someone telling you how if you don’t eat what they say is enough you will end up with Problems X, Y and Z.

And ya know what? I never believe them. I hear what they say but I feel that is more of their opinion rather than fact and they don’t know what they are talking about. Some of them I am sure are well intentioned but they don’t really know. They don’t know what it is like to be me, what my body needs, what I should be doing.

I firmly believe everyone’s body works a little differently. Sure there are some basic similarities between us all but when it comes to the nit picky stuff I think what works for one person doesn’t always work for the person next to them and what is harmful to Person A could be tolerated much better by Person B. Basically I don’t think broad strokes should be used when it comes to saying what people should or should not be doing to maintain their health, shrug.

For some reason when she talked in her video about the negative health effects not eating enough could do to a person it, I dunno, it bothered me…not because she was saying it, I have heard stuff like that before, but because coming from her I, for some reason, believe it more than I have when hearing that same warning in the past.

I don’t know why I believe her, or at least, lean towards believing her more than other people’s warnings, but I do. And because I am leaning towards believing her I was focusing on more things she said, and people in her comments section said.

According to her, depending on your age and activity level, an average adult woman should be eating 2000 calories a day. A DAY!! How do people even do that?? If I am really supposed to be eating around 2000 calories a day, but I only eat around 700, than I am under eating by way more than I thought I was when I thought the number was 1200 a day.

I mean geez. I thought I was under eating but felt like a loser because I wasn’t even managing to eat half the amount the so-called experts say I should be eating but it turns out I am eating way less than half the daily calories they say I am supposed to be eating.

Is it weird that makes me feel stronger? More successful? Less like a loser?

I realized from reading all those mean comments just how different my opinion on calories is from other people’s. They are all freaking out about someone eating only 1200 calories whereas I freak out about having to eat as many as 1200 calories. They freak out about the health detriments of under eating. I feel proud about how well I can function on fewer calories than other people.

Do you see where I am going with this?

By tomorrow I will be back to thinking my 700-ish calories a day is lots and all those medical warnings are just people trying to scare other people and that what I am doing is right for me. But right now, for this minute, I am wondering if it is me that has got this wrong, that has the messed up thinking, that should be changing their way.

skinnier

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