Over Dose on Food

Is it possible to OD on food? Or certain types of food? If it is then I think I did it, sigh.

Yesterday, for no real reason I started eating cookies, 8 cookies later I felt so sick and gross and I don’t mean in my head or I imagined I felt that way, I mean my poor stomach was seriously not impressed by what I had put in it. Obviously I ate nothing else the rest of the day but the damage was already done.

This morning I woke up and had a horrible migraine, still felt unsettled in my stomach and in general just felt off all day. It was a weird sensation, I felt hungry and full at the same time, how is that even possible? And while feeling hungry and full I also felt nauseous at the same time, so yeah, today was super pleasant *rolls eyes* lol

The last week or so I feel like all I do is eat. I know I think about food a lot so maybe I’m not really eating as often as I feel I am but I don’t think so. It seems that every time I turn around I am going over my calories for the day. There are a couple days where I knew I probably would because of going to a wedding or being in circumstances where I have no control over the food but having to eat something to keep my energy up but, the other days? Totally uncalled for! And yet, I did it, I ate, a lot, a lot of high calorie stupid food choices. None of them made me feel good, none of them were real binges, they were just random, high calorie food fests that happened more often than they should have. Ugh.

I think it would have been better if I had just had one massive binge, I’d eat like a fiend, recover, then recommit to low calorie eating but nooooooo, not me, can’t possibly do something that easy can I? Instead I eat something, or a lot of somethings, in a day, that puts me waaaaay over how many calories I restrict myself to, I feel like a failure for over eating, and then a couple of days later I do something similar. It is like I don’t eat enough to full on binge and go through that emotional roller coaster, instead I eat less than a binge but more than my daily allotted calories, have no kind of closure to what I did, and then repeat the process.

I don’t get it. Do other people do this?

I have decided to recommit to my low cal eating plan starting today…well, starting now, which might not mean anything since it is the end of the day but whatev. I am starting now! Back on the wagon! Down with calories!

I think I have to slowly wean myself down again though, which sucks. When I over ate on the day of the wedding I tried going back to eating 700 calories or less the next day and it was more of a struggle than normal. Since then I’ve been having a low cal day, then another, then a day where I eat too much, then 2 or 3 more low cal days, then a high cal one, there is this disturbing trend happening. I think, and I could be way off with this, that my body is all “oh, are we eating more now?” and then when I restrict the next day it gets all whiny and complains (aka stomach growling etc) because it wants more than it is gonna get. Whereas, when I faithfully restrict I don’t feel hungry all that often, and when I do eat something I can eat a small yoghurt (100 calories) and that’ll keep me going for 6 hours or so.

I lost discipline and now I have to retrain my body. This is gonna suck!

So starting tomorrow I am cutting down on calories but not all the way down to under 700, instead I will focus on hitting somewhere in the 800 calorie range, and then the next day go down by 100 calories, and the same the day after that, until I reach where I want to be calorie wise. This way I go lower and lower gradually and give my body time to adjust.

Maybe I am the only one who thinks this makes sense but it is all I’ve come up with…

stay strong 2

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