Back In The Saddle

Remember those two upcoming social events I knew I couldn’t get out of that I was worried about because well, food. sigh.

They are both now social events of the past that were worthy of all the stress I felt for them and I have been trying to fix the damage I did over the span of those days. God knows how long it’ll take me to fix this…

Last Thursday I had a friend over and I had to provide dinner. I let her choose what we would eat, I was leaning heavily towards sushi but she chose pizza. I can’t remember the last time I had pizza, I mean c’mon, there is nothing safe about pizza! She let me choose which pizza so at least I could choose one that wasn’t the worst but also no way would she be okay with a thin crust veggie pizza so chicken it was! Also, I was making brownies to take to work the next day and we each ended up eating one.

So Thursday was two slices of pizza and one brownie.

Crap.

I intended for the left overs to go home with her but when she left it was late and we both forgot so I ended up with 4 leftover slices of pizza. Four!

I’m poor, I can’t afford to not eat food I spend money on but I am also fat and can’t afford the calories in food which is why I usually don’t buy food. Thereby saving calories and money. Win-win!

I ended up eating the left over pizza on Friday which immediately had me feeling disgusting, I shouldn’t have done it! I didn’t eat for the rest of the day to try to make up for it but the damage was already done.

Saturday was the party where I ate such a random sampling of foods I couldn’t even keep a proper list. I did my best but I’m worried I missed something and that my food tracker isn’t complete.

So lets look at the three day tally shall we?

(1) two slices of pizza and a brownie

(2) 4 slices of pizza

(3) party food – cheese biscuit, slice of cake, piece of chicken, two crackers, guacamole (dipped the crackers in it), one dough ball, slice of gouda, one beer

Basically three days of disaster. 😦

I felt sick all day Sunday and I had this weird taste in my mouth, I think it was from having so much sugar over the previous three days, my body didn’t know how to handle it. What was weird was eating made me feel sick, not eating made me feel sick, everything made me feel sick and when that happens well, what the hell is the right choice?

I ended up eating on Sunday a bit more than I normally have been but not nearly as much as I had been on the previous three days. I decided my body was going through some sort of food overdose and it seemed smarter to gradually decrease the calories rather than drop down all of a sudden. If I hadn’t been feeling so sick I would have just dropped right down again but because of how ill I felt I thought instead of completely shocking my body I’d be nice to it and take a couple days to get it back to the daily calories I think are ok.

It seems to have worked, so yay!

Today I have eaten 643 calories which is still a lot but I haven’t had a problem restricting my food today, not like on Sunday when not eating caused tummy distress. Because today went well I think tomorrow I’ll be fine to go back down another 100-150 calories which makes me feel better about things.

I think those two social events proved I am not capable of socializing without screwing up completely with food sooooo I’m gonna cut back my socializing, at least events that involve food, until I have a more solid grip on things.

flat tummy 2

how I feel everyime I eat

how I feel everyime I eat

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6 thoughts on “Back In The Saddle

    1. foodobsessed79 Post author

      I’m trying to lose weight. And no, I’m not getting help for it. I don’t think I need help right now, I feel like I have things fairly under control. I only think I need help when I am in a binge eating phase because that means I get fatter.
      Personally I’ve been feeling like I’ve been over eating because I’ve read other people’s blogs and they eat waaaaay less than I do. I can’t seem to manage that yet…

      Reply
      1. amandaturner612

        Yeah, but lots of people do unhealthy things- that doesnt mean you should copy them. In all seriousness, it would be a good idea for you to seek out the help of a counselor or a doctor. Eating less than 700 calories a day is not ok. I have a M.S.Ed in counseling- I’m not trying to belittle you or shame you- I just recognize the signs of eating trouble and can’t scroll by without saying something. If you ever want to talk: amandaturner612@gmail.com.

      2. foodobsessed79 Post author

        I’m not eating the way I am because of reading other people’s blogs and wanting to copy them, I’m not twelve *rolls eyes*
        I am still able to function on the amount of calories I am eating, and I am losing weight, so I’m fine.
        The one time I tried talking to someone it was a disaster so thanks for your offer but I won’t be taking you up on it. I’ve had someone make me feel less than an inch high and that I am worthless after I told them how I eat, I won’t be making that mistake again.

      3. amandaturner612

        I’m so sorry you had that experience… It sounds like the person you talked to was a bad egg. <3. I was not at all insinuating that you were immature or copying others. My offer to chat still stands if you ever change your mind.

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