Upcoming Ordeals

Since I started being strict with my restricting again I have minimized social outings. I don’t mind staying in more than going out since I am introverted but its not like I hermit myself away every day…normally…

The only times I’ve been hanging with people is if we are exercising together which is nice because I get in a workout, get to hang with a friend and don’t get pressured to eat, its a win all around! 🙂

However, within the next 4 days I have 2 social functions I can’t get out of that involve food, lots of food…I’ve been trying to figure out for days what to do about this and have yet to figure out an action plan and I’m starting to get nervous because I don’t have an action plan. Ack!

The first social thing is a friend who is coming by to help me with some stuff, manual labour type stuff that I needed a second set of hands for. When we were first planning the day she would come help we were joking about moving furniture, drinking and just hanging out. So I have the alcohol which I figured I could sparingly drink to minimize the calories I get from that but I realized I should really offer her dinner since she’ll be here for hours. I of course don’t have food she can eat, I hardly have any food, and I don’t really want to bring any in so I suggested I pick up some sushi or order a pizza or something. I reeeeally hoped she’d go for the sushi but she chose pizza, sigh. So we will be eating pizza…pizza! There is nothing good about this situation. I thought about eating one slice super slow and hoping she didn’t notice how much I ate (or didn’t eat) but she is highly observant, my apartment is super tiny, and there is no way she won’t see how much I eat (or don’t eat).

I’m not sure what to do. I’m not good at purging, and even if I was the apartment is so small that anything done in the bathroom can be heard outside of the bathroom (lovely huh?) so she’d be able to hear me throw up and she’d question me about that.

Because I live alone I’ve never had to develop tricks for making it look like I ate more than I really did, is there even a way to do that?

The other social thing is even worse lol My sports team is having a party, everyone brings food, everyone will bring alcohol, we’ll all have a great time. We do this every year and every year I have loved it, but I’ve never gone to one of these parties when restricting and I’m not sure how this is gonna go. There is never any healthy food, if I thought I could nibble on raw veggies all night I’d be fine but people bring Chinese buns, and chicken wings, and burgers (there is usually a bbq happening), and salads (but not lettuce salads, more like pasta salads and salads with cream sauces an stuff) and loads of desserts. Hell, I’m taking two desserts because weirdly enough I’m really good at baking and everyone knows this so my bringing desserts is expected.

The party starts around dinner time and goes all night, the bulk of the eating happens all at once, everyone loads up plates and hangs out chatting while eating, the rest of the eating happens over the course of the night, people nibble on what is left over as the evening progresses, so basically, there is always eating happening.

It isn’t that I can’t be around people when they are eating, it is that it will be super obvious if I don’t eat when everyone else is eating, and also super obvious if I don’t snack during the evening.

Oh boy.

So yeah, thoughts about these two events that are coming up that I can’t get out of have basically filled my head and I think of almost nothing else.


must not eat



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