I’ve been hard core restricting for a couple weeks now, I say hard core but I know there are others out there who are way better at restricting than I am and compared to them I am eating like a pig. But for me, I’ve been doing really well. Switching in a day from binge eating to restricting has been a bit of a shock to my body and I can’t say it is coping all that well, but I am determined to see this through. I am hopeful that after another week or so my body will stop with all the negative side effects and just coast along on its small caloric intake and increased exercise regime and the pounds will drop off and I will become a happy little camper.
Everything I think about somehow relates to food, usually it is thinking directly about food, other times it is figuring out how to avoid a situation that will have food, or googling to find nutritional information about a new food, or talking about food. I find I talk about food a bit more than before but what I say is always a lie. Someone will ask me what I am doing in the evening and I will talk about the great meal I am going to cook, or I will talk about the cookies I am thinking of baking, or the sushi I am planning on buying on the way home but it is all lies. I won’t be eating or doing any of those things. I just think that talking about food will keep people from suspecting that I am not eating food.
I am moving suspicion away from the thing they should be suspicious of before they even think to start being suspicious…if that makes any sense…
I’ve been getting a lot of comments from people at work, asking if I am ok, saying I seem off or different than normal. I didn’t realize the difference was already visible and sadly the difference they are seeing isn’t a lovely new skinny body but my body, still the same in their eyes only tired and draggy and I guess I’m not as energetic seeming or charming as normal. Crap. Only two weeks in and I am visibly struggling. Not good.
I was looking online for some information, to see if some of what I am going through is normal for people who are restricting but I must not be googling the correct things because I didn’t really find the information I was looking for so I thought I would post here what I am going through (physically) so if someone else is googling maybe they will find the post and know they aren’t alone.
- about a week in I got a headache and it hasn’t gone away – this headache may be related to an injury and just be pain radiating up from the shoulder in to the neck and then in to the head but it might be due to the restricting, I’m not really sure
- I had 4 or 5 days where I felt physically ill, nauseous, light headed, just plain sick
- my energy levels are waaaaay down
- I want to sleep all the time and yet I seem unable to nap, once I am in bed though I could sleep forever
- I had a day at work where I ate some oatmeal, it tasted amazing and seemed so soothing on my stomach but about 20 minutes after I ate it I had stomach pains and they stayed for hours, then I had gas (sorry for the tmi) and that lasted a long time also, eating caused me pain…hmm…
- my skin is a little drier than normal
- I started out drinking lots and lots of fluids but now I find myself struggling, I don’t really want to drink much of anything anymore and drinks I used to have all the time like tea and diet coke don’t settle as well as they used to
- I am having trouble focusing on things, for instance, I was making a bracelet and really struggled to focus on what I was doing and not quit, same with working on a puzzle, I want to do the puzzle but the idea of opening the box and working on it is too daunting and I can’t
- this is more of an emotional change than physical but I am more ambivalent towards things, I just don’t have the energy to care about anything beyond my calories and exercise, shrug
- I’m not very good at controlling my body temp anymore, most of the time I am super cold but every now and then I totally over heat and it sucks
I don’t know anybody else who restricts (in real life I mean) so I don’t have anybody to ask if any of those things are normal or just my body being a wimp…do any of you know?
Something else I am doing is seeing food everywhere! I swear every commercial is for food, every time I go anywhere I pass by a million places to eat. I keep watching YouTube videos of skinny people eating and being mad that they can eat like pigs and be skinny but I am so fat and can’t eat anything without gaining weight. I also think about food all the time, like, all the time! If I’m not thinking about how many calories I have already eaten for the day I am thinking of what I will be eating next and when, I’m constantly running through a list of foods in my head to decide what I can eat and what I can’t touch. I think a lot about the foods I used to binge on and every time I don’t eat them I feel stronger but at the same time I really miss those foods. But then I remember those foods made me fat and I’d rather be skinny and missing food than fat and eating everything.