I Hate Doctors

Ugh, doctors, I can’t stand going to them. I have, unfortunately, been having fairly regular doctor appointments since January due to an injury. I always worry they will figure out I have issues with food. I don’t know why I worry about it, none have figured it out yet, shrug, but there is always that fear that they will ask a question I don’t plan for and I won’t have a ready answer that sounds legit.

Today I had a tongue slip but it maaaaay have worked to my benefit…maybe…

I was sitting talking with the doctor, she was asking me about my activity level, I mentioned some stuff I am taking part in and the rest of the convo went like this:

Doc: So you’re fit.

Me: Well you’d think but no matter how much I do I never lose any of this fat.

Doc: You’re not losing weight?

Me: Nope.

Doc: You do all these sports and you haven’t lost any weight? Not even after the run on Sunday?

Me: Nope, nothing. Doesn’t matter how much I exercise I don’t lose any weight. Trust me, I’m trying.

Doc: Have we ever tested your thyroid? (looks at my file) hmmm, no, I haven’t had that tested on you, let’s get some blood work done and see what your thyroid is up to.

Me: Ummm, sure?

Here’s the thing, I hate needles, and because of the injury I’ve been dealing with I have been poked with needles, told to pee in cups, x-rayed, ultrasounded, ct scanned like you wouldn’t believe. I am so sick of it all buuuuut if this blood work might turn up something that shows my being fat isn’t all my fault and in turn might get me something from the doc to help me lose weight, well hey, bring on the needles! 😛

As soon as I made the comment about not being able to lose my fat I wanted to cringe. Normally if talking to someone about my weight I’m careful to word it as wanting to be more fit, or get in better shape, or live a healthier lifestyle. I always word it in positive words, I never use words like fat. People don’t like the word fat and using it always makes people take more interest in what you are saying, not because they want to hear you talk about fat but almost like when there is a car accident, they can’t look away. But it just slipped out. *cringes*

She didn’t seem to take any excessive notice, except to decide on getting more blood work done, so I’m hoping that except for the appointment when we discuss the results of the blood work this topic won’t come up again.

Oh, and how twisted is it that I want there to be something wrong with my thyroid? I keep thinking how awesome that would be, cause then I’d probably be prescribed some medication to help it work better and then my body would finally drop some of this fat it is holding on to. Please oh please let me have a thyroid problem!

if only my stomach and hip area looked like that!

if only my stomach and hip area looked like that! not to mention the thigh gap!

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